I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
