there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
