Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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