Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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