So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
