Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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