he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I forget how to act sober
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
