Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
