Got a toothbrush?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
