i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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