so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
