Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
