Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
