College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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