my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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