he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
