Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
