next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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