Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize