Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
