my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
