With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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