i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The uberlube is also flammable
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
