Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
