I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
