I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
