I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
