Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
