did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
