Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
