By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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