She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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