those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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