sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
