A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
