I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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