I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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