and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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