I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
