1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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