Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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