I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
