everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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