Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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