Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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