just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So much rum. So many feels.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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