there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
