i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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