there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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