hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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