can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
