i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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