she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
