Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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