When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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