The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
