someone get that fucking seahorse.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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