K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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