My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
