you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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