I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
