U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
