I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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