Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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