I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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