'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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