WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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